Tea Salutes and Extreme Fruitcake Fruitcake/Bananas / Amused and Abused / / All About Me / / Ancient History /

Ikea without meeeee 23 Nov 2009|05:40pm [ mood | grumpy ] My mother went to Ikea without me. I may have to sulk at her over my baked potato. I want pretty things! I'm also annoyed because I bought UG's anniversary present, and I just saw it £15 cheaper somewhere else. The shopping Gods are pissing on me today. BAH! 4 Daleks| Exterminate

GyaRGh! 22 Nov 2009|08:29pm [ mood | shocked ] Fucking HELL! We live around 20 yards from a crossroads, and while it's not a particularly busy road, it does get traffic, and we're less than half a mile from both the local police station and ambulance depot. The thing about this being a fairly quiet road is that emergency vehicles don't need to use their sirens to drive fast. Until they need to pass through a junction. So... one minute - blissful silence. Then a siren goes off right underneath my window. See Mary jump three feet in the air, throw coffee all over the floor and come damned close to choking to death on her own tongue. 1 Dalek| Exterminate

My feeeeeet 21 Nov 2009|04:19pm [ mood | Shopped to death ] Ah yes, this is why I do 90% of my Christmas shopping on-line. Thank God for Amazon, Whittards and Firebox. Exterminate

Oh boy 21 Nov 2009|10:20am [ mood | scared ] Send me good wishes, I'm going Christmas shopping. I may be some time. Bye. 5 Daleks| Exterminate

Dammit 20 Nov 2009|01:36pm [ mood | annoyed ] The train hooked up a cow catcher. I don't know how many times I have to say this: "I don't want to see the front end. I don't care what the web user sees. I couldn't give a flying fuck for the pretty pictures. I need the damned source code!" Seriously, how do they expect me to build a website when they won't give me access to the system that's going to run it? "That information will be held on the server." Okay... how? In what format? Is it a cookie? XML? A database field? A magical data pocket with pink fucking sparkles and a security unicorn? *headdesk* Just give me the source code and I will GO AWAY and make it work. Stop sending me promotional pdfs of happy smiling web users. 2 Daleks| Exterminate

*cries with joy* 19 Nov 2009|05:51pm [ mood | optimistic ] The oncoming train has lost the nuclear reactor. And why? Because I pointed out that a nuclear reactor was a pretty stupid thing to be lugging about when they asked me about the set up three months ago. Someone listened to me! It's a novel experience. I may have to bask for a few years moments. Mmmmmm... I pointed out that having people log into our website, then expecting that log in information (which is tied to a whole bunch of personal info) to remain intact and active through two third party websites was a bit bonkers. So now everything is going to be ours. *grabby hands* The train is still bearing down on me, but the back end fell off, and I have a bazooka. Anyone who didn't read my last post probably thinks I'm on crack right now, yes? Wow, I don't think I've ever used the optimistic mood before. 2 Daleks| Exterminate

Urgh 19 Nov 2009|01:04pm [ mood | stressed ] I've been swamped with work recently. And I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Turns out the light was an oncoming train. A big one. With a buffet car and sleeper coaches and it's own fucking nuclear reactor. I have meetings this afternoon and tomorrow about the set up required for the new subsidiary company website. Which they want launched in two months. I have to laugh, because otherwise I will have a nervous breakdown. 1 Dalek| Exterminate

Yeah... 18 Nov 2009|06:33pm [ mood | contemplative ] Today's xkcd is painfully true. Ask me about the time I fixed an on-line annual rent statement by displacing the calculated fields in a repeating region to the preceding table cell, calculating backwards from the current balance, including personal identifier, property and finance adjustment codes from three completely different database tables, and using conditionals to transform the description codes into something that resembles English. The £1,000 a day consultant couldn't get it to work, and I did. With only basic training in PHP and an out of date textbook. The IT consultant was impressed. Everyone else just wondered if I knew why the photocopier was adding lines to stuff. *sigh* 3 Daleks| Exterminate

Merlin 2.08 14 Nov 2009|11:20pm [ mood | dorky ] ( Cut for much flailing in spoilery way ) 3 Daleks| Exterminate

Jingle Bells 14 Nov 2009|07:53pm [ mood | listless ] I'm going to be so bored of Christmas by the time it actually gets here. Right now, red sparkly candles make me go 'oooooh!' In another five weeks? It'll be 'meh'. Enough with the 50,000 glittery signs saying 'gift ideas' - I'm perfectly capable of generating ideas by myself. Or at least harassing people into updating their Amazon wishlists. *HINT HINT, FAMILY* Yes, I went shopping today. For man clothes. Spawn #1 has a week of work experience in the IT department of the local council, and has been told to dress 'smart casual'. Since the only clothes #1 owns are either school uniforms or jeans and hoodies, we ventured into New Look's mens department. I felt a little uncomfortable lurking outside the changing rooms - I felt like I was holding a sign saying 'Hi, I'm perv!' instead of several smart shirts in 'men's small'. Spawn #1 looks disturbingly good dressed up. In hoodies he's just a tall gangly nerd, in a smart shirt he looks like he's in danger of having girls hit on him. Fortunately, he's unlikely to have any girls hitting on him at the Council offices. Particularly in the IT department - according to someone who used to work there, it's a vagina-free environment. Exterminate

??? 13 Nov 2009|09:33pm [ mood | confused ] Okay, so I'm guessing that episode of CSI would make more sense if I watched the Miami and New York versions? 2 Daleks| Exterminate

Today was bad/good day 12 Nov 2009|10:58pm [ mood | full ] No homogeneous bland day for me, no! Bad - no central heating this morning Good - Spawn #2's report card came in the post and it's the best report card I've ever seen in my life. They're graded 1 - 6, 1 being extra-awesome and 6 being 'that child shall hang!' It was pretty much a sheet of paper covered in ones. I think she got an upper 2 in one class because her homework was late once, but apart from that - she's scoring as awesome in everything. I bought her new jeans and inappropriate shoes as a reward. Bad - I have put back on every single pound I lost over the summer. And I've lost what little muscle tone I had. Fat and flabby - not cute. Good - I have two episodes of my favourite shows waiting to be watched on the media tank, and a movie I've been wanting to see forever was on sale in Asda :) Bad - the scanners at work hate me. I can't use the little one because it runs off the terminal server, and the terminal server can never find my profile. My profile is apparently some kind of mystical being which can only be found if you're not looking for it. If I want to use the little scanner, I have to use someone else's log in details, and I'm not supposed to know anyone else's password. *ahem* So I have to use the big scanner. All I needed to do was scan in a glossy 5 x 7 photograph. Would it let me? HELL NO. Not only did it refuse to scan, it then scanned but cropped the image oddly, then scanned but did a whole 'you don't really want the sky to be blue, right?' thing, and the whole time it kept giving me an electric shock when I pressed the area on the touchscreen to set the file type. Me - I don't want a .tiff, I want a .pdf. Scanner - sure, here's the menu. Me - thanks. Scanner - *bzzzt* Me - MOTHERFUCKER!!! I ended up wearing a green rubber thimblette as protection, but it was too late: the tip of my right middle finger hurts in a cell damage kind of way. Good - I had Sag Aloo for dinner. How does the not-so-local Indian restaurant make something as simple as spinach and potatoes taste so good? Sorcery! It has to be. I'm just at the perfectly full stage, when all is right with the world, and a nice long belch is almost as good as an orgasm. Exterminate

Pain! 11 Nov 2009|05:19pm [ mood | sore ] Ow. I have pain all over. Stupid hormones. My body mostly behaves itself - I'm not one of those women who have to lie down in a dark room with a hot water bottle and three strips of iburofen for two days a month - but today my body decided to have a pain party. It's like it knew I was doing vitally important training and decided to fuck with me. Cramps of doom and migraine. WTF? Time for the dark room and painkillers. Bye - see you when I'm well/stoned. Exterminate

Lie To Me 10 Nov 2009|11:53pm Uh. *brain fry* Did Cal just say ( spoilers ) Because it was totally hot. 4 Daleks| Exterminate

Goodbye, we knew you oh so briefly 09 Nov 2009|11:45pm [ mood | bored ] I've kind of given up on a bunch of new shows recently. Flashforward - the book was mundane, the TV show flirted with being interesting for around two episodes, then it gave up and died. I know one of my favourite actors is showing up in it, but I can't quite bring myself to watch his episodes. V - saw the pilot, what a complete load of shit. The one and only redeeming thing about this is the kick-ass female FBI agent. I might have watched another episode, but they killed ( spoiler ) and kick-ass FBI agent isn't enough to keep me watching. White Collar - everyone keeps telling me how good this is. I don't see it. *yawn* Pretty man does stuff. FBI agent nods indulgently. Lather rinse repeat. SGU - I love the Stargate franchise. I have been a Stargate fan since the original movie. This though... it's like they got a bunch of writers who had never written anything 'dark and edgy' before and said "Write something 'dark and edgy'" and they all looked at each other and said "Lets create a very stressful situation and make everyone argue and fuck a lot. That's 'dark and edgy'!" No, it's not. It's annoying and boring. 'Dark and edgy' should be the result of what you've written, not the reason for it. Is it just me, or are all the new shows complete cack? I normally see one new show a year that doesn't quite work for me, but this year there's four all at once? Oh, TV, how cold you betray me like this? 13 Daleks| Exterminate

Reason 5,347 why I love my iPhone 09 Nov 2009|10:34pm [ mood | chipper ] I have training on Wednesday, and I had NO IDEA how to get there. I can get a bus most of the way, but then I have to walk about in an unfamiliar area. But! Using my iPhone, I can use Google maps to get to the right general area, and then there's Street View. Of course, wandering about the Pinkie area of Musselburgh flashing expensive tech will probably result in me being bludgeoned around the head and robbed, but at least I'll know where I am! Exterminate

I'm over my hissy fit 09 Nov 2009|07:43pm [ mood | nostalgic ] I feel old. I was at polytechnic when the Berlin Wall came down. I lived in Halls, and the TV lounge had those horrible cushioned classroom chairs that you see in waiting rooms and college dorms everywhere. Your arse goes numb after half an hour on one of those things, but we couldn't stop watching the news. 3 Daleks| Exterminate

Grrr 09 Nov 2009|01:33pm [ mood | angry ] For the record - while I have absolutely no problem at all admitting when I cock up, or covering up someone else's cock up, I will not take the blame for someone else's cock up. And anyone who thinks I should have confessed to making a mistake instead of telling the manager that the reason her figures and mine don't match is because some numpty made a mistake and tried to cover it up after I'd written the quarterly report doesn't know me very well. Exterminate

Waffer theen meent? 08 Nov 2009|01:50pm [ mood | full ] Can't move. Ate too much. Pass me some more ham... *ka-BLAM* I know not to go shopping for food when I'm hungry, but I was in the mood for a proper Sunday brunch and Tesco is less than 200 metres away. I went into meal frenzy, and by the time I yelled FOOD out of the kitchen door there was Cumberland sausage, barbecue ribs, two types of ham, cream cheese, bagels, croissants (plain and chocolate), crumpets, a selection of mini Danishes, Belgian waffles, toast, butter, marmalade, two types of jam, Nutella, syrup, whipped cream, two trays of mixed tropical fruit, orange juice, apple & mango juice and fresh coffee. I may never move again. And! Highlight of my day... jailbait Merlin clone was working in Tesco! As he is now in college, and must be at least 16, I will be dropping the 'jailbait' from his name. Not that the fact that he is legal and definitely older than my son makes me much less of a perv. I hadn't realised he was still working there are the weekends - I see a lot of Sunday shopping in my future. 2 Daleks| Exterminate

Oooo shiny 08 Nov 2009|02:27am [ mood | bouncy ] I was out and about today, and found a jeweller who will clean rings for a charitable donation of £1. And since I have a LotR laser-cut steel ring which continually gets full of grot, I dropped it off for cleaning. And OMG! It's now shinier than it was when I bought it. I wish I'd put my steel dragon thumb ring in too, because it now looks dingy in comparison. I also got a new winter coat - lined wool-mix and extremely awesome and on sale. I don't think I've found a winter coat that cheap since I stopped getting my clothes from Oxfam. £25! New Look, I lurve you. And on to other shiny things... MERLIN! ( Spoilers ) 6 Daleks| Exterminate

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]