Tea Salutes and Extreme Fruitcake Fruitcake/Bananas

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Stuff! Things! Random happenings! 17 Jul 2014|11:51pm
[ mood | stressed ]

Spawn #1 has officially finished college, but we're not sure if his conditional place at university is now an unconditional place. We have contacted the university in question, and so far - silence. Argh!

Spawn #2's boyfriend was released from prison on Monday. Spawn #2 has not been seen since, although I have made phone contact to ensure that she had not been chopped up by the knife wielding maniac she appears to be shacking up with. Double Argh!

Spawn #3, while being the least problematic of my kids, point blank refuses to wear sun cream, despite the UK being in the middle of a heatwave. She inherited my pasty Celtic skin, so I know exactly how burned she is getting when she goes out wearing tiny shorts and crop top at 10am and doesn't get back until sunset. I can feel the blazing of her bright red skin from the other side of the house. And she's going to do the same thing again as soon as the burn stops hurting. Triple Argh!

In other news, the above have driven me to crocheting doilies and writing filthy porn under a long-unused pseudonym.

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O.o 28 Dec 2013|09:28pm
[ mood | surprised ]

So! UG has a cousin I've never met. Or heard about until now. He's just been released from an American prison, after 29 years. Apparently he killed someone in some rather dubious circumstances. His medical records are apparently classified, and the US Army refused to release them as evidence during his trial. They did, however, give him an honourable discharge, after he was found guilty of murder.

Uh hmmm.

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Stupiiiiiiiiid! 23 Dec 2013|12:16am
[ mood | groggy ]

Bad toothache is bad, 30mg of codeine and 50mg of Tramadol are very very nice.

That said, they seem to have stolen all my IQ points - I just rubbed lidocaine gel into my eye by mistake.

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Jesus Fucking Christ 02 Dec 2013|06:11pm
[ mood | exhausted ]

I have just spent all day in a room with my co-workers and a Jungian with colour charts and our personal profiles. I feel like my soul has been taken out for a good scrub down with a stiff brush and carbolic soap.

Exterminate

Back pain 11 Nov 2013|09:32pm
[ mood | sore ]

You know your conference room chairs need to be replaced when two hours into a meeting you start envying the woman in a wheelchair.

Can't. Move. Send food.

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The Hobbit, revealed! 12 Oct 2013|08:44pm
So - today I took Spawn #3, AKA 'The Hobbit', to get her helix pierced. I had to go with her, because she is under 16, and you're not allowed to poke holes in people unless they're an adult or their parent says you can. So - Studio XIII in Edinburgh (very good, but OMG, we had to wait 90 minutes). Anyway! I casually mentioned this to someone I hadn't seen for a while, and they were all 'WTF, she's like - 8!?!?!', to which I had to point out that she's not 8, she's just SMALL. So - to illustrate - The Hobbit, aged 14 years and 3 months, adorable hipster, now with three piercings.

pix!Collapse )

It does appear, in this photo, that her hair is purple on one side and chestnut on the other - this is wrong. It's purple on both sides.
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Anyone else notice.... 07 Oct 2013|01:09am
[ mood | amused ]

... Atlantis seems to be recycling some of the Merlin sets?

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Can't cope, off to Reykjavik 30 Sep 2013|06:40pm
UG and I will be celebrating 20 years together by going to Reykjavik in November. Should be... bracing *g*

I also think it's hilarious that it's cheaper to visit Iceland than it is to visit my Mum, who only lives 300 miles away.
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Not forgotten... 01 Aug 2013|01:12pm
Did someone, somewhere, rec me? Because I've been getting kudos notifications from AO3 all summer, and I don't know why. It's sending me a bit batty, tbh.
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World War WTF 25 Jul 2013|01:16am
[ mood | annoyed ]

I just came back from watching World War Z, and... um.

I've read the book it's based on, and I know that there is no way a Hollywood movie could be faithful to it, because it's just not written in a way that fits the Hollywood blockbuster template, but omg. Way to take a book about a global breakdown in civilisation and turn it into 'How the white American man saved us!'

AND! As someone who used to be a scientist, science rant, minor spoilersCollapse )

Anyway. Not a great movie. Please read the book instead.

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Kudos 13 Jul 2013|12:08pm
[ mood | surprised ]

Hmm... I've been getting a lot of kudos notifications from AO3 this week. Which is a bit weird, as the few things I have on there have been there for quite a long time, and haven't really got that much attention (other than Rodneysaur and Gwastrodi, which have always been popular). I'm on leave for a couple of weeks, so maybe it's time to dig out my old fic files and start uploading all my lost stories to AO3.

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So where were you when Andy Murray won Wimbledon? 07 Jul 2013|05:33pm
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I was standing in my living room with a plastic bag on my head (hair dye) with half of me staring at the screen in total amazement, and half of me wondering if the pub across the road was going to collapse under the sound waves from all the screaming.

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Woohoo! 03 Jun 2013|06:59pm
[ mood | bouncy ]

We just got word - #2 has been accepted at her first choice college! There was a bit of confusion last week when they verbally offered her a place on a course she hadn't applied for, but she got her official acceptance e-mail today, and it's for the course and campus she wanted.

And now... the funding forms await. Gah! Still, at least Scottish kids get funding for further and higher education - not everyone is so lucky.

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Epiphany 23 May 2013|09:26pm
I was on my way to an accessibility seminar this morning and as I was cutting through Waverly Station I saw my reflection in a window and had one of those WTF moments. Exactly when did I become the sort of person who wears a business suit and has a £70 hair cut and carries a briefcase and goes to accessibility seminars?

O.o I appear to have turned into a middle-aged businesswoman.

I mean, JFC, I was carrying a takeaway Costa cup and avoiding eye contact with Big Issue sellers and exuding an air of 'I'm very busy and important'.

I would never have expected that this sort of life would make me happy, but it does. Weird.
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Oh... dear... 21 May 2013|08:12pm
[ mood | ecstatic ]

While I feel sorry that Spawn #2 is unhappy that her boyfriend dumped her, and angry that the wanker did it by text the day before an important exam, I am absolutely fucking delighted that my teenage daughter is no longer sleeping with a 20 year with a criminal record.

*dance of joy*

Hopefully her volunteer work will keep her busy over the summer, and then college will expose her to men with brains. Her dating history contains exactly one person of any use to the world - and he's apparently gay, so - yeah. Not great at picking the menfolk is our Lizzy.

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Into Dar...guh 10 May 2013|07:12pm
[ mood | horny ]

Anyone who can see the new Star Trek movie and not want to fuck Benedict Cumberbatch through the floor is obviously dead. The film could have been complete shit, I don't know - I was too busy trying to control my very inappropriate physical reaction to every second he was on the screen.

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Reason 50,937 I love living in Shinytown 09 May 2013|10:37pm
[ mood | happy ]

Spawn #3 is going on a school trip to Italy in two weeks - they're going to Verona and Lake Garda and various other spots. I'm very jealous. Anyway! Tonight was a last-minute information night to hand out the school trip hoodies, tee shirts, luggage labels, etc, and as #3 and I walked down to the school we noticed that the Shinytown graffiti artist had been out.

Shinytown does not have the usual graffiti - no oversize cocks, unreadable names and info on the local slappers - no, we have inspirational messages written in pink chalk. Spotted on our route were:

Give Hugs
You look nice today
Be yourself, be happy

The next time this happens, I'm going to try to take photos, because this sort of thing really should be shared.

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Unexpected trips to Aberdeen 30 Apr 2013|10:46pm
[ mood | tired ]

So I took a trip to Aberdeen today. Lovely day for it - if it hadn't been to see my mother who had been airlifted to the hospital there after being in a car crash. Wilbur picked me up from the train and when we got to the hospital Mum's discharge papers were all signed, but it's still not a good thing seeing a parent in a hospital bed. They hadn't even given her any decent painkillers, so I was kicking myself for only taking a couple of emergency co-codamol 30s with me: I have around 80 left out of the box of 100 the doc prescribed for my cracked rib. Still - she should get a good night's sleep tonight off the two I had with me, and hopefully she'll get something once she's home tomorrow.

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Strange days 18 Apr 2013|01:22pm
I have had a very strange couple of days.

I had to listen to some arsehole arguing that Boston deserved it for being the source of much funding for IRA nail bombs. For my generation the IRA were the childhood boogeyman, but you grow up, you get perspective, you don't gloat over the death of innocents because as a kid you crapped yourself watching the news. Twat.

Spawn #2 is under a lot of stress. She had an exam yesterday, she has an exam today, tomorrow she gets train-track braces glued to her teeth, and next week she has another exam and her college interview. I'm guessing this stress is why, in a distracted moment, she managed to let slip that the 20 year old tattooed boyfriend she's been seeing is actually the famous drunken muppet who got thrown out of the roughest pub in town because he was bleeding on the floor too much.

Spawn #3 has decided to be a doctor, specialising in sports medicine. Judging from the epic report card and gushily enthusiastic warbling of her teachers, I think she may have a vey good chance of doing just that. The only vaguely negative thing said was that occasionally she misspells French words. French is her worst subject, and she got top marks for it.

Being back at work is great (I'm off today due to picking up a stomach bug that's going around the school - this is what happens when you spawn), but incredibly busy. I've been face down in welfare reform for the past week and a half, and I see spreadsheets when I close my eyes. But we have a strategy for dealing with the shit hand we've been dealt, and hopefully not too many of our tenants are going to be splashed across the papers in some bedroom tax catastrophe.
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Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead 08 Apr 2013|06:44pm
[ mood | contemplative ]

I'm normally a big fan of 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' and 'don't speak ill of people unable to defend themselves', but... seriously, I cannot not celebrate the death of someone whose political legacy is still directly impacting people. I work in social housing, and I see first hand the mess that Right to Buy* left in its wake. Plus, y'know, I lived through the Thatcher years in Scotland - we may not have been as comprehensively fucked over as some other parts of the UK, but we still got fucked over.

An interesting article on death etiquette when discussing public figures

*For those of you who don't know, Please do not read this if you think that me ranting on about social housing, right to buy and welfare reform will trigger a lot of right-wing rage. I am aware that people who vote Tory are not evil, stupid or deluded. Your politics is your business, and I respect that. I do not bring my political rage into the blogs of my right wing friends, and I request that they don't bring theirs here.Collapse )

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